LOSS TO LEGACY
From loss… to becoming
May 12, 2020.
9:59 PM.
My phone rang.
Then I saw the message.
I just sat there…
staring at my phone.
Trying to process what I just read.
Hoping it wasn’t real.
But deep down…
I knew it was.
That night changed everything.
Both of my parents are immigrants.
They came to America when I was one
chasing an opportunity they didn’t fully understand,
but believed in anyway.
We grew up on government assistance.
Moving from place to place.
Six different homes before I even hit 11th grade.
Every time rent went up…
we had to figure something out.
New schools.
New people.
New environments.
Over and over again.
You learn to adapt…
Whether you’re ready or not.
Looking back…
That’s where I learned how to keep going.
2007
I hit a crossroad.
High School was almost over
I never really felt like I fit in.
I wanted to leave…
start over somewhere new.
San Diego was the plan.
But life had other plans.
My dad suffered a stroke
So my mom took whatever she could get…
working in the back of a restaurant.
12-hour days for $50.
Coming home exhausted…
her hands torn up from the work.
And I felt it…
it was on me to stay.
So I did.
After graduating from CSULB in 2012
I had no idea what I was going to do next.
No experience.
No real guidance.
Just a strong reason why.
July 20th, 2011
I knew what fitness did for my life…
and I wanted to give that to someone else.
I knew Randall from class
and we always got along.
At the time, he was leaving Bally’s
and starting his own private training.
I asked if I could shadow him…
just to see how it worked.
He said yes.
A month later
He gave me a shot.
But even more importantly
He believed in me
So I kept showing up.
No Limits, Signal Hill 2012
Then things really started to pick up in 2013.
I was getting busy.
Even did a couple of bodybuilding shows
and took home some hardware
I remember being in my early 20s with almost nothing…
but I always believed if I just kept working and stayed positive,
something would come from it.
and I would get closer to where i wanted to go.
There were plenty of bad days too…
But I learned the storm doesn’t last forever.
That same year
I linked up with my best friend Jandar.
We were in the same spot…
just trying to figure it out.
So we built something from nothing.
2013
@JourneyIIFit was born.
And slowly…
Things started to move.
People started noticing.
Our name started spreading.
Then everything sped up.
We eventually outgrew the space we were in.
It was time to start looking for our own location.
We were 27.
No real business experience.
No track record.
And every landlord we talked to?
Not a chance.
After a while…
it started to feel like it wasn’t going to happen.
Like maybe we weren’t ready.
Then out of nowhere…
An opportunity came.
4812 Paramount blvd
Lakewood, CA 90712
We took a shot.
And somehow…
they took a shot on us too.
We signed the lease.
One month.
That’s all we had.
No blueprint.
Just learning as we went.
And from there…
Everything slowly changed.
We built something from the ground up.
A gym.
A community.
A life.
Everything we once dreamed about…
we had it.
There was no going back now.
Then in the middle of the pandemic…
May 13, 2020…
I got news that
I wasn't ready for.
And just like that…
Everything shifted.
I didn’t just lose family…
I gained a responsibility
I never asked for…
but refused to run from.
Suddenly…
I became the male role model I never had.
Back and forth between California and Florida
birthdays, Father’s Day,
all of it.
I showed up however I could for the boys.
But the more I tried to get back into my old routine,
the more I realized
I wasn’t the same person anymore.
My body was in California…
but my heart stayed in Florida.
On the outside…
everything looked fine.
Clients.
Business.
Routine.
But inside?
I was just going through the motions.
Each goodbye got harder.
.My mind was always somewhere else…
back with them.
I remember sitting in the airport thinking…
“What if one day I look back…and realize I had the chance to do more…and I didn’t take it?”
That’s when it hit me…
I couldn’t keep living like nothing changed…
because everything had.
I spent years building a life…
just to realize…
I might have to walk away from it.
So for the first time in years…
I stepped back.
12.01.2021
What was supposed to be one week…turned into months.
It had been seven months…
since I last saw them.
Then March 17 came.
Oliver’s birthday.
Spring break.
We flew out.
And in those moments with them…
everything became clear again.
What mattered.
What I couldn’t ignore anymore.
But it also reminded me of something else.
how hard it was going to be to leave again.
I needed something to hold onto…
Then… out of nowhere…
an opportunity to buy a condo came up.
And right there…
everything clicked.
That was it.
That was the anchor I needed…
to keep a part of me with them.
Not just visits.
Not just trips.
Something real.
Something permanent.
But making that decision?
That wasn’t easy.
Because deep down…
I knew most people wouldn’t understand it.
From the outside…
it didn’t make sense.
But this wasn’t about logic.
This was about a promise.
I spent nights searching for answers…
and somehow ended up more lost every time.
Until I remembered something…
the promise I made to my brother.
So I made a decision.
I stayed.
A whole year.
No social media.
No distractions.
Just being present…
and figuring it out as I went.
Picking them up from school.
Helping with homework.
Basketball practice.
Friday nights at Target.
Small moments…that became everything.
Late-night talks that reminded me how much kids pay attention...
Even when you think they don’t.
But it wasn’t easy.
There were days I questioned everything.
Days I missed home.
Days I felt torn between two lives…
The trainer everyone knew in California
And the man trying to keep a promise to his brother.
With no blueprint…
no roadmap…
I had to learn how to trust myself again.
How to slow down.
How to sit with silence…
without trying to run from it.
Most of the time I didn’t have anyone to turn to
so it was just me, my pen, and my notebook
trying to figure things out.
Over time…
those ordinary days started to change me
.
I became more grounded.
More patient.
More intentional.
By the time I came back at the end of 2023
I wasn’t the same person.
I came back as someone who lived an entirely different life in a single year.
Before all of this…
I felt like I was on top of the world.
Then everything got stripped away.
And in that silence…
I had to face something real:
No one was coming to save me.
Everything I thought I had…
Everything I thought I knew…
didn’t matter anymore.
I had to start over.
I had to figure it out.
This journey wasn’t easy.
It wasn’t perfect.
But it was necessary.
This is a story of loss…
but also of becoming.
Of choosing family…
without a blueprint.
of building a legacy
in the quiet moments
when no one was watching.
It started with loss…
but it became the reason I kept going.
I thought I was teaching them…
turns out they were teaching me.
How to love louder.
Work quieter.
And show up every day.
Now I just wonder…
What story will they tell one day?
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned…
it’s that listening to my heart
has never led me wrong.
It led me here.
To peace.
To purpose.
To them.
#RIPTuatPhan
#MyBrothersKeeper
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that means everything.
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